bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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