I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
