I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
