First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
