Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Alive.
So much puke
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
