Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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