Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
