it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
