I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
