I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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