hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
