she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
should my penis look like a turkey
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize