"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
