I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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