oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
