how can u be prego again
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
