You're so nebulous sometimes
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
