did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
