I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
