She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
