mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
