Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize