So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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