Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
His hands were made for my vagina.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
