walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
