Hey man sorry I got all grabby
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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