I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
