they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
