Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
