I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
