dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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