So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
