its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize