You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
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