I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
