i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
