so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
