The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
PANTIES FOUND
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