did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
