He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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