Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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