we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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