have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
