just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
