i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
