Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
