This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
