i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
