Apparently you make a good broom.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
