I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
