yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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