I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I touched a dick in church today
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
