i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
