is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
