Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Randomize
