can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
