You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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