There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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