On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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