I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
