You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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