Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
