You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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