Christians are straight up FREAKS
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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