Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just want to make out with him forever
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
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