yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
