i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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