just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
