You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
