I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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